Book Review: The Art of People. A shitty conglomerate of self help by Dan Kerpen.

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If you want to know what it takes to win success and influence over people in every aspect of your life, The Art of People  by Dave Kerpen is fantastically NOT the book to read to do so. Before I came across this book I had never heard of Dave Kerpen and probably for good reason. He compares his book to How To Win Friends and Influence People which is unfortunate for him because it sets the bar way too high for his efforts and results in a book that pails in comparison. The Art of People is said to contain “11 simple people skills that will get you everything you want. If what you want is something to read as your dull yourself to sleep, I suggest picking up a copy of this book.

The idea of the book is great. We all want to have better communication skills to better influence those around us and to get what we want in life. Sounds enticing, right? The book is broken down into 11 chapters with 53 “easy to implement tips” at the end of each section like: “1. Write down an inventory of your ability to get in touch with your emotions and cry. When were the last five times you cried, and what were the circumstances of each incident?”. Because knowing the last five times you cried and why is VITAL to learning how to communicate better and network with people. This book is full of bullshit tips and tricks that you can find from any self help resource. It seems to me like Dave put every self help and quick fix work published into a blender, turned it on and then poured the conglomerate pile of shit into a binding and named it The Art of People. Aside from all the woo-woo, personality type bullshit he preaches in the book he also writes about himself in every fucking chapter and tells stories about how lost a game of Clue and proceeded to storm out of the house and resolve the issue the next day when he was cool, calm and collected. Not to mention the next time he played Clue with his wife and 3 children he was able to maintain his composure and not act like a babbling idiot when he lost. Good job, Dave :D. I lost immediate interest in section 45 “Remember That It’s Not About You” where Dave proceeds to tell us about how inspiring people in not about us, it’s about them and in order for people to feel inspired we have to make it about them. Pretty interesting conclusion considering every single chapter in the book is full of petty, bullshit stories that “happened” in Dave’s life and is all about him, his business and his family.

 

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The book is full of conflicting bullshit. Some of the principles are very good to practice and some are nonsense like writing a memoir of the times you’ve cried haha. All and all I would say this book is far more than a waste of time to read.

(P.S. Last time I cried was when I read this book, Lolz.)

3 Life Lessons From Steve Jobs

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Steve Jobs is an extraordinary human being. He doesn’t need an introduction because you already know who he is and that fact alone is pretty mind-blowing. Steve Jobs has single handedly changed the way billions of people live. He created the most valuable company and brand ever and will go down in history of the greatest marketer and influencer in modern times. There is so much to learn from Apple and much has been written about the company’s success, I think we often overlook what we can learn from the guy who created the brand. Here are three life lessons we can take from Steve’s existence.

Be Relentless In Your Pursuit of Knowledge and Experiences

It’s obvious that Steve Jobs was a genius. The guy was lightyears ahead of people when it comes to technology, design and user experience. He was a master of marketing and sales and created the most valuable computer company of all time without ever writing a single line of code. Steve could talk about everything from technology to religion because he was obsessed with learning and new experiences. After college and in between stints with Atari, Steve would travel to India for several months in pursuit of spiritual enlightenment. Jobs also reflects on his time taking LSD as one of his most powerful life experiences ever. He didn’t believe in the typical education of sit down, shut up, memorize this and regurgitate it. He was constantly trying new things to expand his mind and experiences. I’m not saying you should drop everything you know and try to become some Zen guru in India, I’m also not saying to trip your fucking balls of because Steve Jobs did and “he was successful”! I am saying to be obsessed with knowledge and experiences. Apple would not exist today if Steve wasn’t willing to try new things and always improve on his knowledge.

Create Your Own Brand

Steve was his own person and was very unapologetic for it. He realized who he was as an individual and did absolutely nothing at all to change it and be a people pleaser. Steve was his own brand. Obviously looking at Apple we know Steve was a branding genius from a business stand point but we seriously overlook how genius he was at branding himself.  In high school he went through a radical change that solidified who he would become as a person. He began to develop a curious interest in literature and the arts, as well as computers and technology, no surprise that Apple is the best of both worlds. Before Apple, Jobs worked for Atari and left a striking impression of the company “Atari’s cofounder Nolan Bushnell later described him as “difficult but valuable”, pointing out that “he was very often the smartest guy in the room, and he would let people know that.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Jobs#Homestead_High). Steve also has hundreds of patents in his name for things other people designed because he was such an influential individual. His signature black turtleneck, jeans and New Balance shoes were part of a larger ploy for Jobs to further develop his personal brand. I could go on all day about the genius, minute things Steve Jobs did because he was solidified in who he was. When we think of Steve Jobs we think of a hard working, demanding, perfectionist genius who changed the way every one of us sees the world. Wether you love him or hate him, Steve will be Steve and Steve is completely okay with that.

Be A Gritty Motherfucker

He looked like a nerd, he talked like a nerd and most importantly: Steve Jobs was a fucking nerd. He was known as a loner in high school and had a hard time maintaining good relationships. He was given up for adoption at birth. He did not have it easy by any means, he is truly a self made billionaire and it’s all thanks to his grit. Steve Jobs went through more shit than most people can even fathom and came out on top every single time. He was kicked out of his own company, made a different one, got acquired by Apple, then fucking took Apple over AGAIN! After being kicked out of his own company the dude somehow managed to make his way back and take shit over again. Almost anyone would have given up, Steve pushed through and made it happen and that is remarkable. If you want to be a bold leader like Steve Jobs, you have to go through hell and be willing to keep on going.

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Steve Jobs was a bad ass. He was a charming, LSD-dropping nerd who could steal your girlfriend, your friends and probably sell something to your family in the process of ruining your life. There’s so much to be learned from him for business and personal use. He is one of the most inspiring leaders of all time and his life should be a lesson for all of us. Hopefully you can take something from this and pursuit your passion, put your dent in the universe.

How To Stand Out and NOT Be Like Everyone Else

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We live in a pretty fucked up world. It’s a good kind of fucked up and a really really bad kind of fucked up. We live our lives within a 5 inch screen and start to go through withdrawal when we are disconnected from our devices. Everyone wants to be an influencer on Instagram or Snapchat. Everyone wants to start their own personal brand or be a “life coach” or “lifestyle entrepreneur”. For the most part we live our lives as sheep. We live vicariously through those on social media and wish we had what they did, drove the cars they drove and fucked the chicks they fucked. Take advantage of the herd mentality and make yourself stick out from the crowd.

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This is probably the most important part of standing out from the crowd. Learning to think for yourself can be challenging and sometimes scary. You’ve been molded your whole life to believe what you’ve been told. Not to mention all the bullshit and propaganda that goes down in everyday life to try to mold our beliefs. To live in the “norm”. You’ve been told whats socially acceptable and what’s not. I think thats bullshit. There are obvious moral and legal boundaries that any sane human has and will not cross, thinking for yourself doesn’t mean you do whatever the fuck you want. Thinking for yourself means confirming what you already know to be true. You are entitled to your own opinion, sometimes it will be right and sometimes it will be wrong. When you are wrong you have to be willing to accept the facts and move on. When you are right you should be willing to die for what you believe in. We live in a world where everyone tries to think alike, dress alike and act alike. It feels like a scene out of Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. Thinking for yourself proves you are an individual, it also shows confidence in who you are and what you believe in. It is a very attractive quality when not blown our of proportion and makes you unique and unforgettable.

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Too many people are scared to take risks. They are afraid of failure and their ego getting hurt and it stops them from ever living at all. Stop being afraid of what your friends will think if you fail. Stop worrying that your family will think less of you if you’re not a success. Stop protecting your ego from taking a punch in the face and being brought back to reality. When John Mayer was in high school everyone laughed at him for wanting to become a musician. His family thought he was crazy, his guidance counselor told him it wasn’t possible and no one thought he would amount to anything as a musician except one person: himself. He knew he was going to be a phenomenal musician and went all in. He even went as far as to put in his Fairfield High School yearbook “I know that school never did anything for me. It never made sense to me. I knew when I was 13 what I wanted to do- to be a musician.” Stop letting other people tell you what to do and what not to do. Anyone who tells you to play it safe is not chasing their dreams, and that’s exactly why they want to stop you from chasing yours. Take massive risks and see massive results. Nothing good has come from playing it safe.


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Have Good Manners

It’s pretty sad that this is something that will help you stand out but it’s reality. Having good manners is a sure way to stand out from any crowd. The other day I was out shopping and held the door open for some lady, she was appalled. She told me she hadn’t had a door held open for her in years and that my mother raised me right. Too many common courtesies are becoming far too uncommon. Use your please and thank you’s. When someone does something for you no matter how little emphasize your thanks for them. Shake someones hand when you meet them. Look people in the eyes when you talk to them and don’t hold a conversation with someone while you are looking at your phone. Common courtesies go a long way and definitely will help you stand out in todays crowd.

There are a million ways to fit in with the crowd. I don’t care if you don’t use these 3 ways to make yourself stand out in a world of autonomous fucks, I do care that you stand out and be unique in some way. Your life will be better because of it.

3 Habits You MUST Have To Become A Millionaire

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Habits are a fundamental part of any individuals success. Our habits will determine our future and in order to guarantee success you must first cultivate a good set of habits. The same habits that got you where you are now will not be the same habits that bring your life to the next level. In order to guarantee success we must look at the habits of those who have what we eat and reverse engineer these habits into our own lives. Here are 3 habits you must develop in order to become a millionaire.

1.) Invest Your Money

The wealthy, wether in the US or China all have one common denominator: they put their money to work. Money doesn’t like sitting, the rich don’t let it. Millionaire’s don’t have all their money laying around in a savings account and they sure as hell don’t have it stuffed underneath the mattress. They make money their bitch. They put their money to work for them, not the other way around. No matter how much money you earn you need to get into the habit of putting money away and investing it. Investing could mean in the stock market, back into your own business, in real estate, even educating yourself and taking trainings in your field. Anything that will provide a positive value back into your life is an investment and the rich are always looking for ways to invest their income. If you don’t have money left over to invest you have two options: make more or spend less.

2.) Delegate, delegate, delegate.

The wealthiest and most successful people realize they could never do everything on their own. Anything that doesn’t contribute to their success will be delegated or automated. The house isn’t going to clean itself that’s why they hire a maid. The schedule isn’t going to make itself so they hire a personal assistant. The rich realize their time is better spent on things that bring in money and they hire people to take care of the rest. Your job when delegating is to be the quarterback, you make the calls and you tell your people what to do. By delegating menial tasks you can multiply yourself and get 10x the work done, make 10x the money in 1/10th of the time. It might sound weird but the less you do, the more you earn. Learn to delegate.

3.) Asking For What You Want

This may seem so obvious that you completely throw it to the side but the truth is most people are afraid to ask for what they want. Wether it is a job or a chicks phone number they are afraid to face rejection therefore they don’t even bother to ask. They then proceed to complain about how they never get what they want, or “deserve” and their life is stuck in an infinite loop of mediocrity. Rejection is one of our primal fears as humans and we are hard wired to hate being rejected, unfortunately it is an inadvertent part of success and wealth. You have to be willing to ask in order to receive. Facing the fear of rejection is tough but will go away eventually, once you are more afraid of losing the opportunity than being rejected you will achieve massive success.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rich. There is nothing wrong with wanting success and recognition. Both are a form of mastery and take time and patience to achieve. They both also require us to have a solid foundation of habits. Allow your habits to build you up, not break you down. There are no directions to take in order to become rich but ensuring you have the right habits will help you speed up the process when you find the way.

The 48 Laws Of Power Overview (Animated)!

 

There is a lot of controversy around Robert Greene. People either tend to love him or hate him. Many think he’s a sociopath, few think he’s just short of a God. Despite your opinion about him The 48 Laws of Power has a lot of applicable rules to live by if you want to be a power player. The book is very long and honestly a fucking bore to read so here is a fantastic animation of The 48 Laws so you can save time and gain power. Video credits: illacertus (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmvhCWvHk3-SJqljh5cCm8A).

3 Laws You MUST Follow To Be An Influencer.

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You Must Have A Massive Goal That You Will Work On Everyday.

The first law in being an influencer is the most important. Without it, you can do all of the following and still not attain influence. To be influential you MUST have a massive goal that you are willing to spend the rest of your life working your ass off for every single day. Make your goal so big that everyone thinks you are crazy. The most influential people are the one’s with the dreams that normal people consider impossible. Elon Musk wants to colonize Mars. Gary Vee wants to own the New York Jets. Jeff Bezos wanted to create a store that sells EVERYTHING. The bigger the dream, the bigger your influence. Michaelangelo once said “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” These are wise words from a VERY influential man who we continue to talk about hundreds of years after his death. Know your end game. Ambition is priceless and a very attractive trait for anyone to have. It will give you meaning, some passion and an identity. If you run into someone and their goal is to build the biggest building in NYC I will guarantee that you’ll never forget about them. You will probably even support their mission and be inspired by their ambition. Don’t allow yourself to fall in the trap of mediocrity. Too many people spend their entire lives chasing small goals, making small money and having a small level of influence. Stand out from the crowd. Find your reason for waking up everyday and work your ass off to achieve it.

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Dress Well, Groom Well, Smell Great. 

“Dress for success” is so fucking dead and Silicon Valley God’s with billions of dollars who wear t-shirts and jeans have made everyone think they can get away with rolling out of bed and throwing on whatever they please. Unfortunately you will probably never create a social media network or app that is valued at $30 billion whilst losing hundreds of millions of dollars a year and never posting a profit. “Dressing well is a form of good manners” – Tom Ford. You need to take care of yourself for yourself and for others. Your body is a temple, it’s your choice to worship it or trash it but any successful and influential person will choose the former and not the latter. Taking care of yourself will boost your self-esteem and confidence. There are plenty of studies that show those who dress well are more well respected, seen as more authoritative and   more influential than peers who dress like smucks or look like they just rolled out of bed. Taking care of yourself is for others as well. Imagine a homeless person. Chances are you imagine a smelly bum with shaggy hair and torn clothing. Not a clean shaven, Burberry smelling stud in a suit. Perception is everything. Look at Tai Lopez. He faked it like he was successful then got what he pretended to be. I’m not telling you to wear a suit everywhere you go like Barney Stinson. I am telling you to make sure you look presentable. Have good hygiene. Workout and take care of your health. Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Your body is your temple. Treat it well.

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Control Your Emotions

The easiest way to lose respect or influence over someone is to let your emotions get the best of you. We all know that person who cries constantly. The person who flips the fuck out over the most petty annoyance. They are unstable. And a pain in the ass. Don’t be butt hurt. Take everything with a grain or 50 of salt. Losing your balance shows you have no clue who you are, what you stand for or what to do. Remain calm in every situation. James Bond wasn’t cool because he was an emotional wreck and flipping shit on everyone who looked at his girlfriend wrong. He was cool because even after being abducted or drugged he remained in control of his actions and kept his identity secure. People will respect you for keeping your emotions in check. It’s hard but its a staple for being a well-rounded influencer.

Your Life Fucking Sucks, Be More Like Tyler Durden. (Fight Club)

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If you haven’t seen the movie Fight Club, drop whatever it is you’re doing and go turn it on.

Here’s a small summary from imdb.com “An insomniac man who is an ordinary worker of a huge company, an IKEA buyer and classic consumer of capitalist system is very bored of his ordinary and routine life and meets with a person that is totally who he wants to be. And after that his life changes, with his new friend he creates a fight club that is gonna evolve very big movement all over country that even he can’t imagine.”

Tyler Durden is everything most people want to be. He does whatever the fuck he wants and doesn’t even blink an eye at something that doesn’t spark his interest. He isn’t concerned with the status quo or what anyone else thinks of him, he does what he wants, when he wants and doesn’t give a single fuck about what anyone thinks about him.

So what can we take from Tyler Durden to stop being alive and to start LIVING?

Stop Trying To Control Your Life:

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In the movie the most important lesson Tyler teaches Jack is to let go. Stop trying to micro manage every single area of your life. Every single day we are given the blessing to lie our lives and do whatever our heart desires, most of us spoil it living within the status quo of what we accept as reality. We work our shitty 9-5 to drive a shitty car, come home to our shitty spouse who we decided to settle on, just to enjoy two days off on our shitty weekend. Some people don’t even have it that nice, they just work, eat, sleep and repeat. Living life like a broken record goes against everything in Tyler’s philosophy. Stop trying to control everything in your life. Stop trying to control what other people think about you. Stop trying to control the image you project to the world. Be yourself and don’t give a fuck. Yes people will call you arrogant, or an outcast, the list can go on. I would rather be an arrogant asshole that enjoys my life than a conformist prick who loathes the in and outs of my everyday life.

“I say never be complete. I say stop trying to be perfect. I say let’s evolve and let the chips fall where they may” – Tyler Durden

Start Living, Stop Being Alive. 

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Most people are another statistic. They wake up, go to the job they hate, to work with people they dislike to pay bills for shit they probably don’t even want and can’t enjoy. There is a huge difference between actually LIVING life and letting life live you. Most people choose the latter instead of the former and it’s a pretty sad reality to face. Chances are if you’re reading this you have had dreams, ideas or goals that pick a hole in your fucking brain all day. They are constantly there to remind you how shitty your life is because you haven’t taken massive action and went for them. The majority of people go through the motions and never truly enjoy themselves, they let life live them and before they know it they’re sitting on their death bed thinking about all the things they wish they would have done when they had the chance. Tyler says do whatever it takes to feel alive. This is why he starts an underground bare knuckle fighting club. It makes him feel alive. It gives him something to look forward to and unleash his primal side. I’m not saying leave the office and start whooping ass. I am saying to do those thing’s you’ve always wanted and keep nagging at you. Quit your shitty job and pursue your own venture, it’s easier now than ever before and if you have a computer or smartphone you have all the resources you need to be successful. End your dreadful relationships. A lot of us have “friends” we keep around just for the sake of having friends. We spend time with them because we feel obligated to and its another reason to avoid doing what we truly want. Drop the dead weight. You don’t have to be am asshole about it but you do have to do it. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and push you to try new things you never have. Instead of sitting around watching Netflix and gossiping about the people you wish you were like, go out and meet new people. Try new things. Enjoy new experiences. You probably never knew you liked chocolate milk until you tasted it. There are thousands of metaphorical “chocolate milks” out there. Things we can do, people we can meet, experiences we can have that we may love but we will never know because we are too complacent to try them.

You Are Going To Die. 

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Every night we go to sleep believing we will still be around to see the next day. This is not a guarantee and thousands of people die overnight every single day. If you have no sense of this then you will have no sense of urgency. Pretend you bought a beautiful salmon filet. It was expensive, wild caught and it looks absolutely fucking delicious. You check the package and see it expires in three days. Oh shit, you better eat it or its going to waste. So what do you do, you pull out a skillet, oil it up and eat the delicious son of a bitch because if not, it’s going to waste and getting thrown out. You are the salmon. You have an expiration date. Unfortunately for us, we are still alive and not aware of when that expiration date will be. For all you know, you’re `driving to that mediocre job and out of no where a drunk driver smashes into you and takes your life. This is reality. These things happen every single day. To people who don’t deserve it and had a lot they could have brought this world. Life is unfair and every single day is a risk. The grim reaper is always around the corner. Take action for your life, it’s ending as you read this. Stop thinking you have all the time in the world to work now and play later. Don’t wait until you are about to die to realize the importance of life. Be a creator, do something to impact the world. Do it now and do it like today is your last. 

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Tyler Durden is a bad ass. We all wish we could be like him. He loves every single day of his life and he is truly unique. He isn’t confined by the status quo and only does what makes him happy. Obviously it’s not realistic to take this to the extreme and give up everything you know in order to enjoy your life. We have to work to eat and we have to conform to certain rules to maintain our freedom. Being like Tyler Durden isn’t about being a barbarian, breaking laws and pissing everyone off. It’s about freedom of self. It’s about living the life we truly want one nudge at a time and realizing it’s possible. Take these principles with a grain of salt and find a way to apply them to areas of your life where you suffer most. Eventually, you will have the life you truly want and won’t have to conform to the rules of everyday society. Start living, stop letting your life live you.